Of Rum and Buttons
by Shades Of Hades
Summary: A kind of PWP... Really SLASHy and fun...


Title: **Of Rum and Buttons**

Author: Shades of Hades

Date: August, 2003

Pairing: Will/Jack…. In that order.

Rating: R… erm… maybe NC-17, though I doubt that. 

Disclaimer: Nope, don't see how a high schooler could own a piece of Disney, nor a big Hollywood movie… ^.^  If I did I would have long ago used my connections to track down Johnny Depp and rape him… and Orlando Bloom… and then make them rape each other while I watched….  *grins* Don't fret follow slashers… I would tape it… ^.^

Warnings: SLASH, silliness, and bad writin'. 

Feedback: oh, yes, please! I'm a complete review whore! Tell me nice things or DIE!

Thanks Be To: My muse, who molested me on my Birthday and kept me up all night so that I could write this lovely piece of crap fic. ^.^ Thank you for being a filthy little ho. Love ya! ^.~

A/N:  I CANNOT write in the third person so sorry if this is horrible! If you've read my other fic, Hook, Line and Sinker, you might recognize the button thing… if not, I hope you think it's funny! ^,^ This fic is completely stupid. I shouldn't even have put my name on it, it's that bad… (Actually I've written MUCH worst! Hehe!) Anyways! Lol! I'm so evil in this fic! *Sinister laughter is heard* Poor Will and Jack… Ooh, and this is not beta'd (I'm too impatient for that), and I didn't even really read it over, so if there's mistakes just ignore them. 

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            "You have very nice legs, you know that?" Jack's hand traveled up Will's thigh, only to be slapped away.

            "Quit that!" Will said, annoyed. Taking Jack's hand, he placed it back on the pirate's personage.

            Jack grinned, his hand slowly sneaking back to its place up Will's leg.

            "Jack!" Will squeaked at the man, grabbing his fingers and squeezing almost to the breaking point. Will grabbed a pillow, slamming it over his crossed legs in denial. "Bad Jack!" Will lightly slapped the other pirate's legs. "I'm trying to write!" Jack's left leg lifted, barefoot traveling up Will's leg, sliding under the well-placed pillow, his ring clad hand creeping up his side. Jack chuckled. 

            "JACK! I'm never letting you have rum again!" Will grabbed Jack's hands and foot holding them beneath his left arm while he fought a losing battle to continue writing. A deep giggle caught his ear as Jack's other foot came up against his chest. A toe ran over the skin exposed by Will's opened shirt.

            Will grabbed Jack's other leg, bringing it under his right arm while balancing his journal on the pillow between his legs. "Will! Look how I can bend!" Jack wiggled his toes under Will's arms, tickling his sides.

"Jack!" Will complained again. "You're not getting anywhere!" Jack grinned at him from behind his legs.

            "Are you sure…?" His tone was playful as he wiggled his way out of Will's grasp and rolled his head, face down, onto Will's lap.

            "Jack! I'm writing! You just ripped that page out!" Will yanked on Jack's hair as he cried out in a huff. "Damn it, Jack!" He yanked his hair harder, lifting the pirate's head off of his lap and onto the bed beside him.

            Jack's hands wandered again up Will's sides, fingers tickling. Will didn't even look up from his book. "I can get the rope, Jack…" His fingers slipped away.

            Jack grinned into the sheets, fingers working again (hey, some people just don't learn). "JACK!" There went flying Will's precious journal. "Stop!" Will was on his back.

            "I can't, mate!" Jack was on top of him, straddling his hips as he grinned in contentment.

            "Jack! I – mmph!" Will's words were cut off with Jack's lips on his.

            Will shoved him away; sitting up the best he could while Jack was still on his hips. He pulled a long strain of dark hair from his mouth. "Your hair is all over!" Will complained as he dropped the offending hair. Pushing Jack's hair away from his face, he pulled the man back down, kissing his lips, letting his tongue dart out between Jack's slightly parted lips.

            Jack's hands worked down Will's front, gently cupping his hard flesh through his pants. He grinned down at Will in pride when he broke the kiss. "Wasn't getting' anywhere, eh, mate?"

            A soft chuckle rolled from Will's throat. "Well, maybe just a little…." Will grinned now, flipping Jack onto his back and climbing on top of him. 

            "You horny devil!" Jack said in surprise as Will started to unbutton his shirt. His chest rumbled as he laughed and began to help in the clothes removal.

            Jack stopped in mid-unbuttoning to stare in awe at Will as his mouth went to his trouser button, working to undo the thing, his hands resting on either side of Jack's hips. "I'm wonderin', Will Turner, where one learn a trick such as the one yer currently performin'," Jack said when he finally found his voice. He watched in amazement and arousal as Will finally managed to get the button lose.

            Will looked up from his place at Jack's face, about the open his mouth and say something when he suddenly grabbed his throat. His eyes widen as a wave of panic washed over his face.

            "Ch -- choking!" Jack's eyes grew wide as well, quickly darting around the room, looking for something –anything- to help the poor boy. 

            His worried eyes landed on a bottle sitting on a nearby table. Jack's eyes brightened as he reached over, grabbing it off the table and trying to hand it to Will (now remember boys and girls, Jack's a pirate, not a doctor… ~.^). Jack grinned, completely proud of himself (he's drunk, not stupid, I swear!).

            *Smack!* It rang loud through the cabin. "Blo – blood--" Jack, not being a man to back down from a challenge when he saw one, punched him back. Will grabbed his stomach where Jack had hit him, and coughed violently as the button flew from his mouth. The Saliva covered button flew forward, hitting Jack between the eyes. "Bloody pirate!" Will finally managed to say. 

            "Ow!" Jack cried, falling back onto the bed, the bottle still in his hand. Jack eyed the rum before uncorking it and drowning half the bottle.

            Jack re-corked the bottle, smacking his lips in appreciation. There's nothing like a long drink of rum after a near death experience. Of course, it hadn't been his, but well, this is RUM we're talking about! ANY reason to drink rum is a good reason! 

            Will pulled the half-empty (never was a fan of optimism) bottle from the pirate's grasp. "Jack, you really know how the kill a mood…" Jack ignored Will, grabbing for the bottle, just out of his reach. 

            "Ah, but I'm not the one who swallowed the button, savvy?" Jack's arms and his legs swayed wildly as he talked, not paying any attention at all to the angry look on Will's face. He just wanted his precious rum back! Was that too much for a man to ask!?

            A growl tore from Will's throat, catching Jack's rather short attention span. "It's not like I choked on the button on purpose!" He slapped Jack across the cheek, though not hard. "I thought you would like it!" Jack coughed as Will's fingers circled his throat.

            "Why would I want you to choke on a button, mate?" Jack asked innocently, some sense coming back to him at last.

            "I hate you!" Will roared as his mouth came crashing down on Jack's, plundering his partly open mouth. After a few seconds of "tongue tag," Will pulled away, and loosened his grip on Jack's throat so the poor gasping man could breath.

            "Forceful, eh (a/n: I swear to god, I'm NOT from Canada… lol… I just like eh…)?" Will smirked at Jack's words, hands circling Jack's wrists and pinning them above his head.

            "I'm just getting' started…" Will purred out as he gave an almost evil grin. Jack shifted, slightly surprised that the delightful turn of events. 

            Will placed a quick peck on Jack's lips before he slid off. "Stay," he commanded. Jack's eyes followed Will around the cabin, watching as he grabbed a length of rope. Jack sat up, struggling out of his clothes while Will walked around the room, when a sudden, horrifying thought struck him… What had happened to his rum?

            Will pushed Jack back onto the bed, taking his place on top of him once again. "Jack, you're wearing FAR too much clothing…" He smiled as he set to work on Jack's pants. Jack was completely oblivious. His mind was set on one thing (as usual when one's had a little too much to drink) his rum. He just couldn't figure out why in god's holy name would ANYONE would want to take his sweet, sweet rum from him?

            Brow furled in frustration, will let out a sound of aggravation. He had given up all together on Jack's pants, deciding the best course of action was to rip them off. It was not as if Jack was protesting any. *Rip!* The poor, abused pants went flying across the room to land in a heap in the corner. 

            Jack's attention was back on Will once again as the younger man's hands slid up his now bear legs (Jack faintly wondered how he had became naked, but dismissed it quickly to concentrate on Will's wandering fingers). 

            Hands traveled up Jack's thighs, careful to avoid his straining erection (a/n: *blushes* I can't write this… *is just about hyperventilating* See why I don't write smut? I LOVE reading it, but I would die if I actually managed to write it…), up his flat stomach, over his bare chest, stopping to gently tug at his nipples. Jack's fingers curled into Will hair as the younger man's head tilted towards his chest, his pink tongue reaching out to taste the little raise of skin. Will's hand's continued to travel upwards, pulling Jack's hand from his hair. He raised his head, grinning at the older man as he held his hands above his head. 

            Will's fingers snaked up, holding a rope. He lashed Jack's hands to the bed with a satisfied smirk.

            "I'm being punished…?" Jack blinked innocent eyes at the man above him. "What ever for?" He pouted a little, just for the sake of pouting.

            "Does it really matter…?" Will asked him, nipping lightly at his collarbone. Within a few seconds Jack agreed that, no, it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the man's lips on his body. The blacksmith's lips came up to caress his, a smile playing on Will's lips as he delivered the kiss. Softy, they broke away, opting instead to travel down to more… fun places. Nipples, bellybutton, he left both satisfied and left wanting. Still he traveled down, making sure to avoid precisely what Jack wanted.

            Jack growled at frustration at his lover, bucking his hips. "Stop teasing!" He yelled, pulling at his hands, just wanting to push the other man's head down to his throbbing member. "Get to the good stuff, Whelp!"  Jack rumbled, but Will only grinned at him.

            The younger man gave a soft laugh, sitting back for a moment to watch the man in front of him squirm impatiently. Jack snarled again, eyes slipping close as he pulled his hands. Shaking his head, Will finally took pity on the man, his head leaning down to engulf the pirate's erection. 

            Will smirked (the best he could with his mouth full) as he heard Jack's content sigh. He eyed the older man as well as he could from his position, noting that his eyes were still closed.

            The younger man ran his teeth along Jack's length. Then he heard it. A soft rumble like a snore… Will stop what he was doing and looked up at Jack in shock and disgust. _Trust the man to fall asleep in the middle of a blowjob!_ Will thought angrily to himself.

            Will slapped Jack across the face, his hands wildly working at his knots around Jack's wrists. He yanked the pirate out of the bed, and with a pleased laugh, threw Jack outside the door of the cabin.

            As Will locked the door, he smirked. "Just wait and see what the crew will say when they find a naked Jack Sparrow at the helm tomorrow…" He chuckled again as he walked back to the captain's bed, picking up his journal on the way.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Outside the door, Jack blinked sleepy eyes, barely registering the cool Caribbean breeze on his naked body. 

Rubbing his suddenly sore cheek, he stood to open his cabin door, unsure of why he was standing on the deck, nude. The door didn't budge. 

Jack looked at the door know warily as realization hit him like a brick. Will had locked him out!

"Will?" Jack said in a soft voice, knowing Will must be really angry with him. He would really have to sweet talk him to get want he wanted, which right now was his soft bed.

He was answered with silence.

"Will?" The pirate said a little louder and with more urgency. He tried the doorknob again.

"Damn it, Will!" Jack said, growling frustrated.

He knocked, yelling and jiggling the handle as he did. "Open the door William Turner, or I swear on me Pearl's sails, I'll keelhaul ya in the mornin'!" Jack was beginning to panic. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

            Anna Maria rubbed her eyes as she climbed the steps to the deck to see what all the commotion was. 

            As she stepped out onto the deck, Anna Maria's arms dropped down to her sides and she began to laugh at the sight before her.

            Her captain pounded away on his own cabin door, jumping up and down, wiggling the door handle, and screaming threats to the other side… all the while he was completely naked.

            "It seems Will finally got one up on old Jack," Anna Maria said with a smile as she turned to go back to her bed. She could let her captain suffer for tonight…

                        ~ End~

A/N: Thank god, (for programming my beats)! I never thought I would finish typing this (shh, I'm suppose to be doing Government homework right now)!… Man, I made Will so damn abusive! ^.^ Yea, anyways, I know it sucked, but you can leave me a comment anyways, in fact I hope you do! I'm such a review ho! hehehe


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